Blue Moon

Today is Dan-the-Man's 48th birthday. I have been married to this dude for 25 years. In fact, we got married one month (to the day) before his 23rd birthday. As we celebrate Dan's birthday today, I can't help but remember his first birthday as a married man. Take a walk down memory lane with me (but here's your warning: you might regret the walk!)...

We were poor. I mean REALLY poor. Like I said, we had only been married for a month and we didn't have enough money for me to even buy him a gift. So, I thought and thought about what I could do for him that might be fun that didn't cost anything. I decided that I would surprise him by cooking a roast beef dinner (which I saved for the whole first month of our marriage). I knew he would like that. But what else could I do to make it memorable? I thought (thought is the operative word here) I came up with a great plan. Let me explain.

At the time we were living in a little, tiny, roach infested apartment in Willow, CA with no air conditioning. It was June and temperatures ranged from 100 to 110 degrees almost every day in the summer. This detail will come into play later in the story. Dan was selling books door-to-door. He left our apartment each morning around 10 am and sometimes came home around 3 and sometimes not until 8 or 9 at night, depending on how successful he was at selling that day. I had no idea what time to expect him, so I thought I needed to be prepared no matter what time he came home.

I had decided to act like it was just any other day before he left for work so that he would think I had totally forgotten his birthday. I thought that would make my little surprise dinner even more fun. I also thought my other surprise was going to be kind of fun. My plan was to write "Happy" on one of my butt cheeks and "Birthday" on the other, and then moon him when he walked in the door. I decided to do it in blue marker so that he would get a "blue moon." At about 2:30 pm I got all ready and wrote my message using the mirror in the bathroom. Let me tell you, it is not easy to write on your own tushie while looking backward in a mirror that is over the sink! I was perched on the toilet turned sort of sideways so I could see my bare bum in the mirror while trying to balance myself so I wouldn't fall off the throne while writing my message. I finally got it done, pulled up the old underwear and jeans, and went about my day. Remember, it was stinkin' HOT in that apartment. And, when temperatures are over 100 degrees, you sweat A LOT! This might be where you begin to regret reading this story. If you are still reading, the rest of the story continues below...

Finally, around 6 pm I heard Dan's car pull into the driveway. I was excited! I hurried and got in my moon position by the door so I would be front and center when he walked in. Surprise him I did...but maybe not quite like I had envisioned. The blue marker had smeared all over my underwear AND my butt with the hot temperatures (have I totally grossed you out yet?). You couldn't read it at all AND I had ruined a perfectly good pair of underwear.

Dan walked in and saw my blue moon and began laughing. He asked, "What the heck? Why are you mooning me, and WHY is your butt BLUE?" He did get another good laugh out of it when I explained what it was supposed to have said. He loved the dinner (which we ate sitting on the kitchen floor with a suitcase as our table since we had no furniture) and we laughed about that blue moon the rest of the night.

Every year on Dan's birthday one of us brings up that memory. Dan says it might be the best birthday present he ever got. HA!

Love you, Dan-O! Happy Birthday.